Wow... it's been a few weeks since I have written a post. I woke up this morning feeling badly about the fact that I had neglected this new thing that I love so much. But when I asked myself why I was so irritated by this I found that it was my pride that was allowing me to be frustrated. I have had an issue with pride my whole life. I think most people do... but I am pretty sure I know where mine is rooted. Growing up I struggled with learning disabilities that started me on medication in second grade. From there all the way through college I had to work harder than everybody else. I saw tutors regularly, went to before and after school help, spent hours with my parents doing homework, you get the idea. Long story short I was constantly battling everyone just so I could stay in the private school I had been attending since a young age. It hasn't really been until recently that I have started recognizing my pride and admitting that I have an issue with proving myself to others. Let's just say it's a tough habit to break.... especially when you are a competitive person. So to the point, I have finally put down Journey Into Power by Baron Baptiste and picked up Fierce Medicine by Ana Forrest. I have been hearing amazing things about this book and that it is intense and perhaps may change your life. You can get it on Amazon for $10, by the way. I have not gotten too far into it only because it is one of those books that drains you with visualizations and stories so vivid that you cannot read too much at a time. At least that has been my experience. I have taken a handful of Forrest Yoga classes and it's probably one of the most healing practices I have taken yet. It is essentially a practice blending Native American medicine and yoga. I believe the word healing is interchangeable with personal growth. You do not need to be getting over a break up, or repairing your heart from loss, or anything too sad dark and morbid, you can simply just want to change. For me and my healing, it is changing the way I have been doing things for a very long time.
I have titled this post Healing is a Choice because it is. There are a lot of people that float through their lives with no awareness of their being and no desire to better themselves. Simply just recognizing that you are a certain way is fine, but does it really truly provoke change with only realization? I don't think so. I think it is a daily effort. The small things contribute to a lifetime of personal growth. Me for example. I am rather flighty, hyperactive, I love change, I meet new people every day, I like to learn and do new things, love adventure etc. Those things are all great, however the downfall is that those qualities translate over to my relationships and my jobs. Being Vata (my dosha in Ayurveda), has its challenges. I recently started the Wellness Cleanse at Core Power Yoga, and last night we had a lecture on Doshas, something I actually know quite a bit about, however, learning it in this very moment was a different experience. When my teacher was explaining the nature of a Vata person, everything about it was me. She then went on to talk about how you can create balance in your Dosha's, if you are too Vata, what can you do? What foods can you eat to create balance? That's not to say that eating certain things will change your personality, but it can help ground you. So the first step to personal growth is recognizing and understanding the things you want to change. Step two is finding out how you are going to execute the process. Dosha's, Chakra's, Buddhism, whatever, they are all tools to help understand more about you. When you can articulate what it is you want to change, then it starts happening.
Reformatting the way I have been doing things for 26 years is not easy... but guess what? I kinda want to have a long and healthy relationship, and I kinda want to stay at my job for a long time because I love it. This act of accepting where you are and realizing that it is good and letting go of the need to find something else, is very healing in and of itself. I know that I can have adventure and see the world and attend workshops in the mountains of Colorado and stay on the beach in California and climb and cycle and do yoga every day, while at the same time maintaining love, relationships, and money. It's just a matter of how. But I think if you are willing to put the effort into working on yourself the only reward will be a positive one. More to come about Ana Forrest and her book, but as for now, you have a taste of why I am reading the book in the first place.
